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COMEDY MONSTERS? AHHH, BOO HOO....

Expect Ingraditude

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Why the same thing keeps happening to me

It's been a long week. I ran my "road" open mic showcase and ran a great show.I realize I've become very cynical. A good friend pointed this out to me; a girl friend. Yes, a woman who I am not having sex with. it bothered me at first, however I like this woman.

Last week I had some friends come out with me, to perform. The club was nearly sold out, and I was paid well. They don't care really, as they are probably hoping I quit. Why? Because it's about ego, power and revenge. I choose to bypass some local guys and went right to the city. Never paying attention to the people who stayed local and made it their home. I hated where I was and wanted to be in NYC. I'm beginning to feel resentful about several things. First is I keep building up a nice business, then people with less smarts than me tear it down. This is my problem and my creation. 

Comedy clubs such as the Cellar, Gotham, Comic Strip for example will only hire the best comics, for the most part. Yes favors, spouses, friends at times have an advantage however that is not the norm, it is the slight exception. Other clubs hire great comedians as well however will barter a bit more. One club I worked for put up a comic that was so bad everyone wondered what to do about it. Everyone was afraid to say something as the owner was not a kind chap. I always spoke my mind, and others eventually followed suit. 

Now I'm in a tight spot. Trying to move my career forward while doing battle with those who seek to hurt people. Myself being one of "those people." I continue to find myself in situations where I'm surrounded by those who create upset feelings, in themselves and others.  One guy took pictures of me in a jacuzzi when I was babysitting a few kids. The girls felt ashamed after this because someone explained to them that being in a jacuzzi with an adult male is bad, and wrong. I was angry my image was taken however more upset about the kids being made to feel like crime victims. They loved me and this odd behavior from the camera guy made them feel bad. Shame on him.

What do I need to do from here? Study my tapes, catch up on my paperwork, open businesses, such as comedy productions. As for getting revenge, I don't believe it. A major comedy club  in Times Square NY went out of their way to ruin my shows. I was averaging 75 people per week. At this point I would have had 200/week. However the guy who hired me used me to get to a woman he hired by mistake. She tried to ruin him, and used me as a pawn. Her lie; that I said she liked to take it in the ass. The manager of this Times Square space then fired me to cover his corporate butt. They all totally sold me out, in many ways. No A/C, overcharging me, yelling at my clients. 

I recently heard about a gross situation  outside NYC, one of the managers has been known to do  some pretty nasty things. Putting woman down, forcing them indirectly into sexual relations. Give it up, then get up on stage is how things work. I love woman, I love sex, however abusing any kind of power to get something is not the way I do things. I believe in having honor and integrity, and I believe in my future. I did some backround checks not everyone feels the same way. I can understand why people turn to the dark side. Comics can do that. Heck I understand why some managers do not care for me; I outshine them. They feel threatened by me. I don't know what to do about it as there is no way out. Producing shows forces management to look upon me as a Quarterback who runs w/ the ball; and they are the opposing line.

Lost in Yonkers !

I keep trying to keep a positive mental attitute but it's tough. I did a gig tonight in Yonkers for some friends, for $10 bucks! They are friends and I was happy to do it. I opened the show very strong and some other comics ate it. Therefore I was well received and appreciated by all. 

At the end of the evening i opened my Macbook Pro (15") :)

some jackass spilled some drinks on it. Computure still works however screen is damaged. Entire laptop might be as well however so far, so good. 

I tried to get personal information from this guy and only got his cell phone. He whined all the way, "oh poor me, why me..." I checked it and it worked. However after doing a infocheck on his cell it came up empty. 

His friend gave me his business card however he didn't spill it. I then insisted on seeing his ID. The owner now was getting annoyed. Why shouldn't he when a drunk dumb ass spills his drink on my computer? A machine that cost $2500 new, when I do a spot for $10 bucks; geeze what the fuck am I doing spots for 10 dollars in Yonkers for, even for friends?

My friends panicked and got me out of there afraid the owner would hit me or something. I allowed them to do that. What I should have done was insisted on getting a cop to have the guys ID checked. So where does this leave me?

The producers agreed to make good on the repair if this guy turns out to be a Stiff. His friend seems to have a few bucks as well. Therefore this might turn out to be ok. Bottom line...when you do shows that you are overqualified for, or in a place that caters to drug users/abusers such as alcoholics, you might run into a problem. Bar gigs often suck because of the problems you can run into as a comic. 

The Producers were sorry they panicked and should stand behind me on this. Hopefully the hotshot who spilled the booze will. The owner of the bar was nasty and totally hindered me from getting that guys ID. I hope I do not have to go after him for the money. The last thing I want to be is "*Lost in Yonkers."    

Neal Simon's play not related in any way to my story. 

Thing Positive.. forget the douche bags!

hey gang,

going all lowercase, what the fuck. Met a woman once  who I had the privililege of co-habititating with. She was kind enough to give me a toothbrush, even asked me what color I wanted. After hearing about 3 different choice I chose the Aqua colored one. She then tells me hers is the same color. I tell her I want a different color to avoid confusion. She then tells me hers is a light aqua and is on the left side. None of which I listened to. She goes and walks her dog, returns. Advises me upon her return I used the wrong toothbrush. I advised her to listen to the monkey next time, it was too confusing. "If you were a woman this never would have happened." "If you give a lesbian a glass of wine, she will wash the glass, understand?" Yes, I do, however you didn't listen to me. "Yes I know your a man." That's right, a monkey and listen to the monkey. "Why can't men just listen to details." I'll tell you, "because we are too busy fighting wars to make sure woman like you don't get raped by opposing soldiers." - she got it

OK- douche bags- yep, they are all over the place. Many in positions of power. Don't worry if you work for one, they will be not be in charge of you forever. In fact, I have worked with people who have ruined businesses. For some reason they master some fine art of douche bag survival and move onto the next business, ruining some small aspect of that company. Eventually the cream will rise to the top, do not worry. I am starting to focus on the positive, and will risk offending some folks. I have options, so do you! We always have them, only the douche bags that ruin businesses create no win and no option scenarios. Look at the leaders the US Auto Industry. Responsible for hundreds of thousands of jobs losses because they were too busy douche bagging it up. Now Chrysler can't even afford to lease it's own vehicals. They loose too much value! Why aren't these executives charged with treason? 

The same reason we tolerate poor leadership in our industry. We are the worst (comics) in that we are the crack heads of the entertainment world. The Comedy Colilition years back came close to achieving something, however fell short; no exit strategy. So what we had was a group of A-list acts getting higher pay from clubs they were working. A few clubs went along, one or two tricked them. Why bring this up? Because true leadership is completely absent from most industries. None of us really pulled together in a powerful way risking jail, or death. I didn't and am certainly part of any problem. However I do my best by fighting with club owners when I feel I am right. They hold the cards however we hold the key to our future. Don't sell out! Work hard to achieve your life's purpose. Be smart when dealing with power mongers. Then when it's your time, strike! And keep on striking until your mission is accomplished, or someone is dead. Or...surround yourself with good people, and permit yourself to be successful. Have everything you want in your life, why not? Go for it.