Thursday, July 31, 2008

Lost in Yonkers !

I keep trying to keep a positive mental attitute but it's tough. I did a gig tonight in Yonkers for some friends, for $10 bucks! They are friends and I was happy to do it. I opened the show very strong and some other comics ate it. Therefore I was well received and appreciated by all. 

At the end of the evening i opened my Macbook Pro (15") :)
some jackass spilled some drinks on it. Computure still works however screen is damaged. Entire laptop might be as well however so far, so good. 

I tried to get personal information from this guy and only got his cell phone. He whined all the way, "oh poor me, why me..." I checked it and it worked. However after doing a infocheck on his cell it came up empty. 

His friend gave me his business card however he didn't spill it. I then insisted on seeing his ID. The owner now was getting annoyed. Why shouldn't he when a drunk dumb ass spills his drink on my computer? A machine that cost $2500 new, when I do a spot for $10 bucks; geeze what the fuck am I doing spots for 10 dollars in Yonkers for, even for friends?

My friends panicked and got me out of there afraid the owner would hit me or something. I allowed them to do that. What I should have done was insisted on getting a cop to have the guys ID checked. So where does this leave me?

The producers agreed to make good on the repair if this guy turns out to be a Stiff. His friend seems to have a few bucks as well. Therefore this might turn out to be ok. Bottom line...when you do shows that you are overqualified for, or in a place that caters to drug users/abusers such as alcoholics, you might run into a problem. Bar gigs often suck because of the problems you can run into as a comic. 

The Producers were sorry they panicked and should stand behind me on this. Hopefully the hotshot who spilled the booze will. The owner of the bar was nasty and totally hindered me from getting that guys ID. I hope I do not have to go after him for the money. The last thing I want to be is "*Lost in Yonkers."    

Neal Simon's play not related in any way to my story. 

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Thing Positive.. forget the douche bags!

hey gang,
going all lowercase, what the fuck. Met a woman once  who I had the privililege of co-habititating with. She was kind enough to give me a toothbrush, even asked me what color I wanted. After hearing about 3 different choice I chose the Aqua colored one. She then tells me hers is the same color. I tell her I want a different color to avoid confusion. She then tells me hers is a light aqua and is on the left side. None of which I listened to. She goes and walks her dog, returns. Advises me upon her return I used the wrong toothbrush. I advised her to listen to the monkey next time, it was too confusing. "If you were a woman this never would have happened." "If you give a lesbian a glass of wine, she will wash the glass, understand?" Yes, I do, however you didn't listen to me. "Yes I know your a man." That's right, a monkey and listen to the monkey. "Why can't men just listen to details." I'll tell you, "because we are too busy fighting wars to make sure woman like you don't get raped by opposing soldiers." - she got it

OK- douche bags- yep, they are all over the place. Many in positions of power. Don't worry if you work for one, they will be not be in charge of you forever. In fact, I have worked with people who have ruined businesses. For some reason they master some fine art of douche bag survival and move onto the next business, ruining some small aspect of that company. Eventually the cream will rise to the top, do not worry. I am starting to focus on the positive, and will risk offending some folks. I have options, so do you! We always have them, only the douche bags that ruin businesses create no win and no option scenarios. Look at the leaders the US Auto Industry. Responsible for hundreds of thousands of jobs losses because they were too busy douche bagging it up. Now Chrysler can't even afford to lease it's own vehicals. They loose too much value! Why aren't these executives charged with treason? 

The same reason we tolerate poor leadership in our industry. We are the worst (comics) in that we are the crack heads of the entertainment world. The Comedy Colilition years back came close to achieving something, however fell short; no exit strategy. So what we had was a group of A-list acts getting higher pay from clubs they were working. A few clubs went along, one or two tricked them. Why bring this up? Because true leadership is completely absent from most industries. None of us really pulled together in a powerful way risking jail, or death. I didn't and am certainly part of any problem. However I do my best by fighting with club owners when I feel I am right. They hold the cards however we hold the key to our future. Don't sell out! Work hard to achieve your life's purpose. Be smart when dealing with power mongers. Then when it's your time, strike! And keep on striking until your mission is accomplished, or someone is dead. Or...surround yourself with good people, and permit yourself to be successful. Have everything you want in your life, why not? Go for it.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Ok, so I'm drunk

Finished another show at the Underground lounge, went well even though I felt distant from the crowd. My promotions are not up to snuff even though all is going well. Been getting some paid work, happy about that.

I'm becoming unglued though, my hours are late. Staying in bed most of the day feels good, however I feel exhausted and need to get up.....get out more! My life consists of comedy, eating, fucking, sleeping, eating.

I miss my old girlfriend however she did not get me, so it's on to what I think I need. Thank god watching less Porn that shit is distracting. Hum..what's bugging me? about my "friends who own 2 clubs outside of NYC who have promised me the world yet give back nothing? How cruel is it to tell me I'm part of the family while they ignor and neglect me at the same time. Those are actions of a Monster. Using power and stagetime as a weapon not a reward. I'm not a girlfriend or Carpenter, so they can't use me? I have always made money for these people yet they figure out some way to feel jealous or angry and turn the screws on me. 

What do I do? I keep on moving forward and fight the good fight. If they want to reward hacks and punish people who do fine nice work for them, so be it...not my problem.

Ok gang, keep on keeping on. dare these people not book me or give me what I want? I once produced a show the same day I buried my Father. Yet I'm a piece of shit to them? Again not my problem! My only problem is that I have permitted others to make me feel bad. Those days are over. Time to be the man my Father always dreamed I would become.

be well, enjoy the day people

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Getting more postive; lets see what happens

This weekend has fun comedy shows and argued with a friend. She can be a c..t however is often right. And I can be a Pr...k so it's all even. However I will not allow myself to be turned into dogfood anymore so some .....person can  have their way with me. I'm done allowing people to walk all over me. I cry no more for no one.

My road show last week. Had the club start me late, had a club fav(not mine) go over their time, then was forced to end at a particular time. Pressure! Good side....I ate well, ended ontime, had fun. 

Abused? me? Ok a club Manager recently abused me because I let him. I had a  show and booked the best comic in the city for this show. I was shot down and had to watch a show I did not want to be part of. It was not about quality it was about booking people loyal to that manager for the right price. God help me if that ever happens again.  Lesson...make sure the manager or who ever is in power is comfortable with what your doing, or leave that job.

I am responsible for all the events in my life and will improve them; starting today! 

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Be nice to the ladies, nicer to those who ain't

Well  learned allot in the last few days. Woman like to slap the shit out of each other on public transportation. Also even in jest don't refer to a woman as a cum-stain. Even if it's part of a joke unless she has a sense of humor, is a comic or can take a punch. 

Well, comedy is going well except I'm dealing with a group of guys who keep promising me I'll be taken care of; stage time wise and everything else. However this is not happening. What they are doing is being abusive. Neglect is the worst kind of abuse. It makes people crazy. You can literally drive someone insane by ignoring them. So they promise me spots for example, don't come through, don't return calls and keep telling me I'll be taken care of. What a brilliant way to hurt someone. It's the ultimate smart bomb. All the while putting up friends, handyman, and anyone else lucky enough not to have gotten on the hit list. I'm not so lucky. I always end up going at it with people in power. Why? Because I know more than most people and my dumb ass is slowly learning not to let others know this. Yes one day the meek will inherit the earth. They are inheriting the Comedy world. If I live long enough (god willing) the comedy world will be my oyster. Time to stop fighting those who seek to hurt me and seek out those who want to help me; a revelation!
So, what if these people read my blog? What would happen? I don't know? Why would something happen? We don't know who I am talking about. Nor would I mention as I could get sued, and it's not polite to mention dames...I mean names lol. And truthfully I don't care. Real men keep their promises, I keep mine and that is all I care about. Working with those who do not is not my problem.