Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Why the same thing keeps happening to me

It's been a long week. I ran my "road" open mic showcase and ran a great show.I realize I've become very cynical. A good friend pointed this out to me; a girl friend. Yes, a woman who I am not having sex with. it bothered me at first, however I like this woman.

Last week I had some friends come out with me, to perform. The club was nearly sold out, and I was paid well. They don't care really, as they are probably hoping I quit. Why? Because it's about ego, power and revenge. I choose to bypass some local guys and went right to the city. Never paying attention to the people who stayed local and made it their home. I hated where I was and wanted to be in NYC. I'm beginning to feel resentful about several things. First is I keep building up a nice business, then people with less smarts than me tear it down. This is my problem and my creation. 

Comedy clubs such as the Cellar, Gotham, Comic Strip for example will only hire the best comics, for the most part. Yes favors, spouses, friends at times have an advantage however that is not the norm, it is the slight exception. Other clubs hire great comedians as well however will barter a bit more. One club I worked for put up a comic that was so bad everyone wondered what to do about it. Everyone was afraid to say something as the owner was not a kind chap. I always spoke my mind, and others eventually followed suit. 

Now I'm in a tight spot. Trying to move my career forward while doing battle with those who seek to hurt people. Myself being one of "those people." I continue to find myself in situations where I'm surrounded by those who create upset feelings, in themselves and others.  One guy took pictures of me in a jacuzzi when I was babysitting a few kids. The girls felt ashamed after this because someone explained to them that being in a jacuzzi with an adult male is bad, and wrong. I was angry my image was taken however more upset about the kids being made to feel like crime victims. They loved me and this odd behavior from the camera guy made them feel bad. Shame on him.

What do I need to do from here? Study my tapes, catch up on my paperwork, open businesses, such as comedy productions. As for getting revenge, I don't believe it. A major comedy club  in Times Square NY went out of their way to ruin my shows. I was averaging 75 people per week. At this point I would have had 200/week. However the guy who hired me used me to get to a woman he hired by mistake. She tried to ruin him, and used me as a pawn. Her lie; that I said she liked to take it in the ass. The manager of this Times Square space then fired me to cover his corporate butt. They all totally sold me out, in many ways. No A/C, overcharging me, yelling at my clients. 

I recently heard about a gross situation  outside NYC, one of the managers has been known to do  some pretty nasty things. Putting woman down, forcing them indirectly into sexual relations. Give it up, then get up on stage is how things work. I love woman, I love sex, however abusing any kind of power to get something is not the way I do things. I believe in having honor and integrity, and I believe in my future. I did some backround checks not everyone feels the same way. I can understand why people turn to the dark side. Comics can do that. Heck I understand why some managers do not care for me; I outshine them. They feel threatened by me. I don't know what to do about it as there is no way out. Producing shows forces management to look upon me as a Quarterback who runs w/ the ball; and they are the opposing line.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Lost in Yonkers !

I keep trying to keep a positive mental attitute but it's tough. I did a gig tonight in Yonkers for some friends, for $10 bucks! They are friends and I was happy to do it. I opened the show very strong and some other comics ate it. Therefore I was well received and appreciated by all. 

At the end of the evening i opened my Macbook Pro (15") :)
some jackass spilled some drinks on it. Computure still works however screen is damaged. Entire laptop might be as well however so far, so good. 

I tried to get personal information from this guy and only got his cell phone. He whined all the way, "oh poor me, why me..." I checked it and it worked. However after doing a infocheck on his cell it came up empty. 

His friend gave me his business card however he didn't spill it. I then insisted on seeing his ID. The owner now was getting annoyed. Why shouldn't he when a drunk dumb ass spills his drink on my computer? A machine that cost $2500 new, when I do a spot for $10 bucks; geeze what the fuck am I doing spots for 10 dollars in Yonkers for, even for friends?

My friends panicked and got me out of there afraid the owner would hit me or something. I allowed them to do that. What I should have done was insisted on getting a cop to have the guys ID checked. So where does this leave me?

The producers agreed to make good on the repair if this guy turns out to be a Stiff. His friend seems to have a few bucks as well. Therefore this might turn out to be ok. Bottom line...when you do shows that you are overqualified for, or in a place that caters to drug users/abusers such as alcoholics, you might run into a problem. Bar gigs often suck because of the problems you can run into as a comic. 

The Producers were sorry they panicked and should stand behind me on this. Hopefully the hotshot who spilled the booze will. The owner of the bar was nasty and totally hindered me from getting that guys ID. I hope I do not have to go after him for the money. The last thing I want to be is "*Lost in Yonkers."    

Neal Simon's play not related in any way to my story. 

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Thing Positive.. forget the douche bags!

hey gang,
going all lowercase, what the fuck. Met a woman once  who I had the privililege of co-habititating with. She was kind enough to give me a toothbrush, even asked me what color I wanted. After hearing about 3 different choice I chose the Aqua colored one. She then tells me hers is the same color. I tell her I want a different color to avoid confusion. She then tells me hers is a light aqua and is on the left side. None of which I listened to. She goes and walks her dog, returns. Advises me upon her return I used the wrong toothbrush. I advised her to listen to the monkey next time, it was too confusing. "If you were a woman this never would have happened." "If you give a lesbian a glass of wine, she will wash the glass, understand?" Yes, I do, however you didn't listen to me. "Yes I know your a man." That's right, a monkey and listen to the monkey. "Why can't men just listen to details." I'll tell you, "because we are too busy fighting wars to make sure woman like you don't get raped by opposing soldiers." - she got it

OK- douche bags- yep, they are all over the place. Many in positions of power. Don't worry if you work for one, they will be not be in charge of you forever. In fact, I have worked with people who have ruined businesses. For some reason they master some fine art of douche bag survival and move onto the next business, ruining some small aspect of that company. Eventually the cream will rise to the top, do not worry. I am starting to focus on the positive, and will risk offending some folks. I have options, so do you! We always have them, only the douche bags that ruin businesses create no win and no option scenarios. Look at the leaders the US Auto Industry. Responsible for hundreds of thousands of jobs losses because they were too busy douche bagging it up. Now Chrysler can't even afford to lease it's own vehicals. They loose too much value! Why aren't these executives charged with treason? 

The same reason we tolerate poor leadership in our industry. We are the worst (comics) in that we are the crack heads of the entertainment world. The Comedy Colilition years back came close to achieving something, however fell short; no exit strategy. So what we had was a group of A-list acts getting higher pay from clubs they were working. A few clubs went along, one or two tricked them. Why bring this up? Because true leadership is completely absent from most industries. None of us really pulled together in a powerful way risking jail, or death. I didn't and am certainly part of any problem. However I do my best by fighting with club owners when I feel I am right. They hold the cards however we hold the key to our future. Don't sell out! Work hard to achieve your life's purpose. Be smart when dealing with power mongers. Then when it's your time, strike! And keep on striking until your mission is accomplished, or someone is dead. Or...surround yourself with good people, and permit yourself to be successful. Have everything you want in your life, why not? Go for it.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Ok, so I'm drunk

Finished another show at the Underground lounge, went well even though I felt distant from the crowd. My promotions are not up to snuff even though all is going well. Been getting some paid work, happy about that.

I'm becoming unglued though, my hours are late. Staying in bed most of the day feels good, however I feel exhausted and need to get up.....get out more! My life consists of comedy, eating, fucking, sleeping, eating.

I miss my old girlfriend however she did not get me, so it's on to what I think I need. Thank god watching less Porn that shit is distracting. Hum..what's bugging me? about my "friends who own 2 clubs outside of NYC who have promised me the world yet give back nothing? How cruel is it to tell me I'm part of the family while they ignor and neglect me at the same time. Those are actions of a Monster. Using power and stagetime as a weapon not a reward. I'm not a girlfriend or Carpenter, so they can't use me? I have always made money for these people yet they figure out some way to feel jealous or angry and turn the screws on me. 

What do I do? I keep on moving forward and fight the good fight. If they want to reward hacks and punish people who do fine nice work for them, so be it...not my problem.

Ok gang, keep on keeping on. dare these people not book me or give me what I want? I once produced a show the same day I buried my Father. Yet I'm a piece of shit to them? Again not my problem! My only problem is that I have permitted others to make me feel bad. Those days are over. Time to be the man my Father always dreamed I would become.

be well, enjoy the day people

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Getting more postive; lets see what happens

This weekend has fun comedy shows and argued with a friend. She can be a c..t however is often right. And I can be a Pr...k so it's all even. However I will not allow myself to be turned into dogfood anymore so some .....person can  have their way with me. I'm done allowing people to walk all over me. I cry no more for no one.

My road show last week. Had the club start me late, had a club fav(not mine) go over their time, then was forced to end at a particular time. Pressure! Good side....I ate well, ended ontime, had fun. 

Abused? me? Ok a club Manager recently abused me because I let him. I had a  show and booked the best comic in the city for this show. I was shot down and had to watch a show I did not want to be part of. It was not about quality it was about booking people loyal to that manager for the right price. God help me if that ever happens again.  Lesson...make sure the manager or who ever is in power is comfortable with what your doing, or leave that job.

I am responsible for all the events in my life and will improve them; starting today! 

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Be nice to the ladies, nicer to those who ain't

Well  learned allot in the last few days. Woman like to slap the shit out of each other on public transportation. Also even in jest don't refer to a woman as a cum-stain. Even if it's part of a joke unless she has a sense of humor, is a comic or can take a punch. 

Well, comedy is going well except I'm dealing with a group of guys who keep promising me I'll be taken care of; stage time wise and everything else. However this is not happening. What they are doing is being abusive. Neglect is the worst kind of abuse. It makes people crazy. You can literally drive someone insane by ignoring them. So they promise me spots for example, don't come through, don't return calls and keep telling me I'll be taken care of. What a brilliant way to hurt someone. It's the ultimate smart bomb. All the while putting up friends, handyman, and anyone else lucky enough not to have gotten on the hit list. I'm not so lucky. I always end up going at it with people in power. Why? Because I know more than most people and my dumb ass is slowly learning not to let others know this. Yes one day the meek will inherit the earth. They are inheriting the Comedy world. If I live long enough (god willing) the comedy world will be my oyster. Time to stop fighting those who seek to hurt me and seek out those who want to help me; a revelation!
So, what if these people read my blog? What would happen? I don't know? Why would something happen? We don't know who I am talking about. Nor would I mention as I could get sued, and it's not polite to mention dames...I mean names lol. And truthfully I don't care. Real men keep their promises, I keep mine and that is all I care about. Working with those who do not is not my problem.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

A good week, a rough week ):) for this comic/producer

For starters I had 4 shows in Thursday, missed one could have been 5! However I did well all shows had 4 at Ha and one At Broadway Comedy Club. 

News...I think I may be several addictions, not drugs thanks god. Working on improving my life and only hanging around people who are nice folks. Comics who are difficult to be around I no longer spend time with. Anyone who is a piece of shit I avoid as well. Question is how do I avoid being around pieces of shit in the entertainment business? Impossible however I limit my exposure to them. Annoying people or takers are not in this category. They may be needy and clueless does not make them a bad person. Liers and manipulative people I choose not to be around as well. There are so many good people and opportunities around why waste my time with those I don't want to be around? 

Wo-es- me? I've been working with several clubs now who are not treating me well; meaning I don't get spots even though I've made them a ton of money. Many club owners/managers do this. They figure out what hurts you the most then they go for the jugular. They do this by abusing you in the worst way possible...neglect. Other comedians who are not as talented or hardworking have figured out a way or are just plain lucky. So they are getting booked and not me. Some may walk a room however they are in with the club and the management does not care. 

I was promised very good things including spots and they turn me into an asshole as I expect these things to happen. So I ask them over and over again to no avail. Fact is they are intimated by me because I'm not an idiot (don't ask my ex's lol). I have a 100% proven track record yet I that's not enough. I'm not a good boy for some reason. So....god bless everyone including Uncle Scrooge. Meaning what can I do? I'm getting up, making money and keeping my promises for the most part. That is the best I can do and hold no grudges. If a club does not work with me it is there problem, not mine.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Watch out for stalkers...wait keep your d...k in your pants!

This is a repeated posting from earlier emails.....

Ok just because someone wants to fu...k me doesn't mean I have to drop by draws. It's tough when someone wants to have sex and saying no. Woman are good at this and w/o the fear of god a guy may not have a chance. Ok, this guy may not have one! lol

New posting...
beginning June 20th comedy shows were very successful. I'm getting offers from clubs to help them however I'm tired of making people money and walking away with my thumb in my butt. Going to play hardball not with them, but myself. Time for me to make money, allot of it. How...owning clubs, booking major events, and getting booked as well. F..k em' I'll make it w/o any hand outs however wouldn't mind an occationally bone (not boner bone!).

Giving spots..had some great comics these last couple of weeks. Some who run shows.
 they bullshit me thinking I don't know they run stuff however I don't care. My act is solid and if they don't want to return a favor no my problem, I'll get up and be successful no matter what.

Next series of blogs will be very interesting...stay tuned...G

Friday, June 20, 2008

Be careful of what you post posties!

I got bagged for posting some crap about a "person" who is not crazy, loony or a stalker. This person would not do something such as call me 10 times in 30 minutes either; not this person.

Ok, so be careful kiddies, you might end up with an ice pick in your back lol

Monday, June 9, 2008

June 9th day and Evening: I took it in the ass like a man

My day was amazing. Made it to a few meetings to organize my finances. Was enjoying coffee and Cosi, mailed out a few dvds to some comics, very productive. Then I went to the IRS office for some paperwork and they were closed! Ok it was 100 degrees but so the f---k what! I worked today, tonight and got around. They work till 4pm and took off at 3:30pm! 

Went to look at at BMW motorbike, diagnosed the problem with my mine...No it was a nice afternoon. The night before I had a nice romatic evening however was watching a movie about a guy being conscience during open heart surgery.  That almost me however after the movie was over...hey hey hey!

Trying to keep track of my spending to ensure I don't waste money. I was not successful however meant well (bid deal).

Comedy- Went to the Underground Lounge for the open mic. Watched a few good comics and some on their way.  The host enjoys his job and helps set up and then close the show. He doesnt not do everything I ask however I am grateful I do not have to do anything for the show to work properly.

Then I'm off to a comedy club near Times Square. I have a 10:5opm spot do to many factors; talent being one of them. However the owner hired a manager or 4 who do not like me. So instead of 10-12 minutes I get lit at 6. Reason being the manager put up his friend who cut into my time. I said nothing however went over the time limit this manager re-negotiated without anyones consent. 

There I decide that it was not my problem that my time was cut. I was going to do my time. everyone else there that is booked by another manager during the week(who really hates me) gets lots of spots. I get a spot a week from the owner because I make the club money (and because I'm funny).  And my thanks is a manager abuses his power tonight and cuts my time. Time that I have been working to get for 7 years. Seven hard years you believe that sh..t?

However- not my problem- I'll bury him, and all those who oppose me. Not through revenge but through my own success, which is always the best revenge.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

I want to run away and hide! But first....a snack!

Been making some more money thanks god (or goodness for you religious freaks ( I mean observant folks). I had a great show at the Underground Lounge Friday and turned it over to a friend and talented comic on Saturday. Of course the shit hit the fan. I forget about a comic I booked and my guy was overwhelmed; with me on the ass-end of of Long Island at a private gig. 

so it all worked out however having good staff is important. My assistants are good and have to figure things out for themselves sometimes; which they did. One guy gave my assistant a hard time and is unaware of how hard running a show is; so shame on him. 

Some very good comics are coming by my shows no. Eric O'Shea for one kicks ass and Al Goodwin dropped by- funny and a great guy. Worked out east with the very Talented Mo Langen, Joe Pontillo and Joe Moffa. Everyone did well and Mo was very impressive...u go girl!

My set was amazing meaning I hosted with 8 large doors open on all sides, challenging lighting and a check/smoking/potty break that was similar to Billy Burr's infamous Phili set on the Opie and Anthony Virus tour. I held it down and did very well. Didn't walk off stage either because it was a well paid gig! Had fun as well.

I'm having trouble with all the woman around they look so yummy

Last week I walked off stage during a crappy spot at a venue that needs to do more  for stand up comedy; in my opinion. The producers work hard yet the venue allows band music from upstairs to come in and disrupt our efforts. A little sound insulation is all that is needed. 

If they do that;  More money, more gigs, more success. My wrist still hurts from my motorcycle accident. It happened 3 months ago while being reckless and hitting a pothole...I went down hard, damaging some ribs and my right wrist. Lesson- don't drive crazy and plan better. Also don't hit stuff!

I used to run a show with a friend at a really cool theater. It was a total nightmare as I was doing to much! However the first show kicked ass. Problem was I got sucked in because we decided to do a Wednesday show no cover at first: no drink minimum and they would feed my barkers and get them drunk. Good deal, right? However that dried up and we ended up doing a weekly Friday 9pm show in a new room they had; really nice space. They were going to advertize and help fill the room. They did not do one thing to help fill the room or advertise. Not their problem however another lesson learned. Don't do anything unless you can take over 100% and make things happen with or without partners.  

Ok- 1st show amazing, 2 shows later rain and a few cancellations crappy weather. We had a strong barking team out as well. Ended up closing the productions on a nice show. However a manager yelled at me because "I wasn't giving my best." Key information was withheld from me which would have made me pull the show immediately.  

My partner didn't tell me after the first show he laid out money for equipment rental which was actually a room/service rental fee of $125 dollars! Had I known that I would have cancelled all remaining shows! So the Manager tears me a new asshole. His friend and my partner were in this together using me hoping I would book "my bringer" comics on their show; not mine....their show. So I pussed out and didn't assert myself at the get go. Just kept on saying yes, a huge problem I've had. However no longer say yes all the time, especially when comics bug me when I'm out working. 

I am no longer hanging around places where comics are ravenous for spots bugging me for time. I feel often I'm surrounded by wild animals in search of fresh meat; that is what some comics can create, that envirnment. Therefore I'll tend to avoid situations that support desperation for those who believe they have no future and are seeking their next hit of "crack stagetime." It is like crack; and with a room to run I am like a crack dealer with 5 hits for 20 crackheads.

Slim, the dog I rescued appears to have found a nice home. I'm heartbroken however happy as well. They have money and house and can care for him. Yes I'd love to however my goal was to save his life from my neighbor who tried to have him killed. 2 hours before death we picked him up. He hugged me and we took him to room for one more shelter. My mission is complete and long live Slim!

I'm feeling pretty happy now and will continue to build the life for myself I've always dreamed of. Avoiding negative negative, desperate unhealthy people while improving my own thoughts and visions helps. 

My vision for myself:
Family with dogs, land, rocky water views, modern castle looking home with lots of land, trees and garage space for my cars and motorcycles. 

TV talk show, touring comedian public speaker owning several businesses. Net worth- 10 billion dollars. Why? I don't know, why not? 

Humanity- help all animals survive and improve themselves through love and understanding. Being a good person by not selling out for a buck. Being someone that children look up to; hopefully I'm half way there. Oh yeh, and to be selling out theaters around the world with funny stuff unlike some of the stuff we see on the comedy stations. I don't know how some of those people get booked either - agents I suppose; yes....god bless them why not!